Loving some with someone who struggles with alcoholism can be challenging, especially if the person isn't yet ready to change his or her ways. Although you can always consider the option of distancing yourself, it's important that you take the right approach if you choose to remain active in the person's life. Asking the person to seek help is ideal, but if the person doesn't accept this idea, it's time for you to begin making changes to how you interact with the alcoholic. You don't have to stop loving him or her, but ensuring that you're not allowing an enabling relationship will be in the person's best interest and yours, too.
Stop Financial Help
Whether the alcoholic person is a spouse, family member or even a close friend, one of the keys to ceasing your enabling relationship is to stop giving the person money. You know, deep down, that the financial assistance you provide has a good chance of being spent on alcohol, so it's best to avoid contributing to the problem. Tell the person that you're stopping your financial assistance. While the person might respond by saying that you're being mean, calmly explain that you're taking this step because you love the person. Ceasing financial assistance extends beyond giving the person cash -- you shouldn't help the person pay his or her bills, either.
End The Excuses
It's easy to make excuses to cover up a loved one's alcoholism. Being honest about the issue, however, stops protecting the person. If your loved one misses a family gathering because he or she is drinking, don't make an excuse by saying the person is sick or at work -- simply state the truth. Again, this approach isn't meant to be hurtful, but can actually lead to positive results. When others in your circle of peers begin to see the problem, you might have more people willing to help if you hold an intervention in the future.
Don't Put Your Life On Hold
When loving an alcoholic, it's easy to put your own life on hold because there's so much turmoil in the home. Stop waiting around for the person to change. Seek out friends with whom you have a healthy relationship and focus on enjoying life. Take up a new hobby that fulfills you or get reacquainted with an old pastime that you neglected because of the person's drinking. Seeing that you're no longer putting your life on hold because of the person's drinking might actually encourage him or her to seek help.Share
28 July 2015
After my life spiraled out of control a few years ago, I realized that I needed to find a little help. I went to counselors and talked with them about my treatment, but ultimately I needed to find someone who could help me to help myself. Finally, after visiting several different places, I was able to find a counselor who specialized in self help. She talked to me about how to cope with problems when nobody else was around, and it was incredibly helpful. This blog is all about learning how to handle emotional trauma, even when you live alone and don't have time to see a counselor.